i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
