have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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