Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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