got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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