Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize