So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
