Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
