lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
