The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
