Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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