I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
