just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
