don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you inspire me to be a worse person
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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