Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The adults are the big ones right?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
