Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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