My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
