somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
