You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
