do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
