I think my vagina is haunted
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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