Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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