I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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