you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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