Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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