his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
