She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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