don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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