I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The power of my boobs compel you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
