morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
