Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
