party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
