I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
We named our party play list daddy issues
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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