thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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