I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
