i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
