So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
