i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
