So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
