Moan for me like Helen Keller
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
