You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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