i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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