eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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