my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
