my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
