How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
