What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
