And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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