if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize