dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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