i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Green mimosas i think yes
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize