new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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