Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
