Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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