I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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