It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
