sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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