I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i think my cat just said my name.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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