I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just want to make out with him forever
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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