your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
