she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize