no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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