Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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