I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
